Bad knees and dogs . . . .

I haven't posted in a while because I have been relaxing at the shore and there was no Internet connection available. There usually is some wi-fi I can hack into on the air waves but I think people have gotten smarter and now they lock  their wi-fi signal .

I heard from the hospital and surgery is scheduled for 7 am tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 5 am! Holy scalpel!  Who is awake at that time? Can my doctor function at 7 in the morning? I am first on the list so that is good because I won't have to fast that long. Giving up food is a big deal for me. It's also good because he probably is fresh in the morning. After all, I do my best work in the morning when I am awake so let's hope Dr. Booth does, as well.

This afternoon I am trying to figure out what to take to the hospital and what to pack to have Gabe bring when I get transfered to Bryn Mawr Rehab. When the lady from Dr. Booth's called today she said I couldn't bring anything to the hospital and that I should not wear any makeup, perfume, jewelry or nail polish. No make up? I don't even go to WaWa without makeup. I could be sick as a dog and I wear makeup. I wear make up to the beach! What am I going to do? This is harder than I thought. I wonder if it is too late to cancel?

Finally, I was thinking about what my legs will look like after this surgery. Here are my pre-op knees. Pleasingly plump, tanned and well rounded. I like the shape of my knees. After surgery I will have a nice 8 inch long scar on each knee. It got me thinking about how that might affect my future career.

1.  I won't be able to be a stripper. I think the scars on the front of my knees might detract from the multiple folds and saggy boobs.
2.  I can't be a bathing suit model. Nobody wants to have a bathing suit model that looks like she had a run in with a slasher.
3.  I don't think I have a career in sky diving. Landing the wrong way on my $50,000 knees might piss off the doctor a little bit.

Other than that, I hope things will look up soon. This time tomorrow I will be in a heavenly morphine coma with two bionic knees. Everybody keeps telling me "everything will be fine" and think of where you will be this time next year". Right now I am fixated on where I will be this time tomorrow. Am I scared? Sure I am. I'd be an idiot if I wasn't. However, I have been blessed with a family that cares very much about me and wonderful friends. I am counting on that to get me through this whole adventure. I hope to blog more along the way--as soon as I wake up from the pain meds.

 In the meantime, if you are the prayerful type, talk to St. Roch--the patron saint of knee problems. He is also the patron saint of dogs so I figure he has to be a good saint.  I found this picture on google and thought it showed him fixing a knee and helping a dog at the same time. My money is on him. Tell him I never want to be a stripper or a bathing suit model--just walk without pain.